Saturday, Steak, and Steel

I feel that it has been too long since my last--first--entry.  Working sounds all well and good when you're getting paychecks to support your various habits, but they expect you to show up, like, every day.  This was one of those weeks when I would have starved if there wasn't a Chipotle nearby.  I cooked dinner once all week, but was too exhausted to post about it.  It worked out, however--it was good, and will show up sooner or later, but it's not quite ready for prime time.  But this entry, like that cool uncle we all had that drank too much but bought us video games, comes later than expected, but bearing gifts.  In this entry I reveal the secret to mind-blowing steak.  First let's talk about cookware.

Protip:  On Iron, Steel, Teflon, Silicon, And Other Things One Would Find at a GOP Fundraiser

The careful observer has, by now, noticed that cooking food typically involves cooking.  In simplest terms, "cooking" is the application of heat to food to change the chemical structure and make it delicious.  In a modern world, where we don't often cook chunks of meat over an open flame (although it's still awesome when we do), cooking typically requires some sort of cookware, because applying raw food directly to your range top just makes a mess and burns things.  It's really only good for laughs.  So, to truly get your black belt in tastiness, you're going to need cookware, and, like all tools, you need the right item for the job.  A set of decent cookware is the second most important investment you can make for cooking, although it doesn't need to be a tremendous investment.  The important thing to know is that there are many types of cookware, and you need to choose the material, size, and shape to suit the project.  First, let's discuss materials:

My favorite, for most jobs, is cast iron.  Good cast-iron cookware is wonderful stuff that people just don't seem to appreciate.  Notably, cast iron cookware is typically made without the use of chemicals, doesn't require much oil to prevent sticking when it's treated right (to lower the fat content of food), absorbs a tremendous amount of heat and releases it slowly and evenly, which aids cooking, it adds trace amounts of iron to anything cooked therein (an essential nutrient--especially important for women, as it will help prevent anemia), and will last for freaking ever.  If you buy a couple of cast iron pans, your grandchildren can use them to make soy-based, nutrient-enriched proto-pancakes for the whole damn space station, if the future looks the way it does in bad sci-fi.  Cast iron also has drawbacks, of course.  Firstly, it's heavy.  Don't drop a cast iron skillet on your foot, because it can break bones.  Since it is uncoated iron, it can rust.  As a result, it's best not to cook liquids for too long and, if you do, a thin layer of oil should be applied to prevent oxygen from reaching the metal and causing rust.  Of course, even if it does rust a little, rinsing it while scrubbing with a regular kitchen scouring pad or steel wool will take it right off, and your pan is still good to go.  It's only a real problem if it's allowed to rust in a wet or humid environment so long that pits actually start developing in the metal.  Unless it's dropped in the ocean, this takes quite a while.  Also, because of it's ability to absorb a huge amount of heat and because metal expands when it is heated and contracts when it is cooled, it is potentially disastrous if it is very hot and cooled very rapidly.  DO NOT submerge a hot cast-iron pan in cold water.  It will probably be fine, but if it does crack it can very easily cause serious injury--there is a lot of energy in there.  Just remember to let your cast iron cool completely before cleaning it, and you'll be alright.  On cleaning, seasoned cast iron should come clean fairly easily.  Just only use soap if absolutely necessary, and scrub it with something only mildly abrasive, like a cleaning brush.  Harsh scrubbers and soap can remove the seasoning.  Under no circumstances should anything cast iron go in the dishwasher, ever.  Finally, what is this "seasoning" I've been referring to?  Well, that's an old, somewhat confusing term that basically means oiling the metal.  When cast iron is heated and in contact with hot oil, the metal expands and allows the oil to penetrate the metal a tiny fraction of an inch.  Once the metal cools, the oil stays.  This effectively seals the surface of the metal, making the surface naturally non-stick and helping to prevent rust.  It's also easy to do.  I like to use the oven.  Just coat the inside surface with whatever oil you prefer (I like to use animal fats like lard--remember, this won't go directly into your food, and the saturated fat in lard will help prevent it from becoming a sticky mess or going rancid.  Vegetable oils with a high smoke point, like peanut oil or even canola oil, will work, but will have to be reapplied more often).  Next, place the pan in an oven at about 250 degrees for an hour or so.  Take it out, let it cool completely, so it's not even warm to the touch, and wipe the inside surface with a paper towel, and bob's your uncle, you have a natural non-stick cooking surface.  Also, buying cast iron is easy--just buy the size you need.  There is no such thing as bad or cheap cast iron.

Another good material is stainless steel.  It has a lot of the strengths of cast iron, but few of the weaknesses.  It generally won't rust, doesn't require seasoning, and can be scrubbed clean with whatever you like.  However, it does not hold heat as well as cast iron, making it less suitable for high-heat applications or oven cooking, and does not form a naturally non-stick surface.  You'll typically need a little more oil, butter, or whatever to prevent what you're cooking from sticking.  Like iron, you'll get the awesome brown sticky bits when you cook stuff, making them great for cooking something you're going to deglaze later.  The trick with stainless steel is to use a little less heat and a little more oil, and you'll get truly fantastic results.  The biggest downside is that good stainless steel cookware can be EXPENSIVE.  It will last, but it will cost you.  You don't need the most expensive, just look for steel pans with fairly thick metal and a good, heavy bottom.  Thin-bottomed stainless steel may look nice, but it's a useless scorching machine.

Finally, there is non-stick.  These have become ubiquitous in American kitchens, and not entirely without reason.  For many people non-stick cookware is all that they own.  It's easy to take care of and clean, cheap, and pretty good at keeping your stuff from sticking to the surface.  It's not perfect, however.  Most of it is made of aluminum, which is light but conducts heat VERY fast, so it won't even out the heat in the pan like steel or iron.  It's also no good for deglazing, since it won't have little bits of goodness sticking to the surface, and I'm still not convinced that the rapid contraction of the metal won't cause microscopic bits of the chemical non-stick surface to flake into your food.  You also can never use metal utensils in a non-stick pan, or it will scratch the crap out the surface, which will also result in those chemicals in your food.  Another problem with the coating is heat--never heat a non-stick pan on high (unless it's full of water or something, that is).  At a certain temperature the coating will start to release vapors.  Officially, those vapors are harmless to people.  However, if you had a bird in your kitchen and heated a dry non-stick pan on high, the bird would likely die.  That does not give me confidence.  Also, it can damage the surface, as my buddy Zach learned the other night while he tried his best to ruin my suatee pan.  Non-stick pans are ideal for situations where you want to fry or sautee at low or medium heat without using too much oil--they're great for things like sauteeing mushrooms or squash, and they absolutely win at eggs.  I wouldn't give up my non-stick omelet pan for all the tea in China.  Ok, maybe ALL the tea.  Then I'd be a tea baron and could buy any number of omelet pans.  But I digress.  Just remember, non-stick pans are useful, but they are not the be all end all of cookware as some believe.

Next, a brief note on size and shape.  Different jobs will require different sizes and shapes of pans, obviously.  A good rule of thumb is, unless you're going to be deep-frying or boiling, like with potatoes or pasta, you want the pan you use to be big enough for the food you want to cook to fit on the bottom in a single layer, and no bigger.  Of course, this ideal is impossible, so just get it close.  Too small will prevent even cooking, and too big will cause any liquid ingredients, like sauce, oil, or butter, to spread out.  This will require more liquid and, depending on the type of liquid, can cause it to burn in some parts.  There are other considerations, of course--the depth of a pan should be sufficient to give you room to cook and stir, but not so deep that you can't easily get to the food as your cooking it.  But there is so much variety that you'll just need to experiment and learn what pans work best for what jobs.

Finally, lids.  Lids are great.  A tight fitting lid will even keep food warm before serving it without you needing to apply heat.  Of course, you can't have a lid for every damned thing.  What I've done is to acquire a good variety of pans, and some come with good glass lids.  Try to get glass lids with steel or silicone handles, so that they can be used in the oven.  Pans generally follow fairly standard sizes, so your lids will be useful on multiple pieces of cookware.  For instance, my 12" stainless sauce pan came with a flat glass lid with a steel handle, which can be used on a 12" cast iron skillet, or even set on top of smaller pans, since the lid is flat.  Be creative and remember, all that crap in your kitchen should be able to multitask.

Now it's time to eat.

Steak, bitches.  Also, some sides.

It's well known that all men love steak.  It's a fact.  That's just science.  Even vegetarians love steak, but choose not to eat it, so when we're filling up on on rib eyes they fill up on smug self-satisfaction.  Male vegans might not like steak, but they don't count; they're not men.  Most male vegans are whiny, tight-jeans wearing girly-boys that need to brush the hair out of their eyes so they can write in their stupid live journals while they listen to My Chemical Romance and cry.  Seriously, fuck vegans.

That being said, what makes for a good steak?  You could probably find volumes about it, but it really comes down to a few factors:  Quality of the meat, freshness, cut, and fat.  Here in the US of A, the USDA requires all meat sold to be graded and classed into one of 8 ranks.  The highest grade is USDA Prime, and it's tops for a reason.  But less than 2% of beef sold in the US is prime, it's hard to get, and it's expensive.  If you find a butcher shop that sells it, then you're in for a treat.  If you can't get prime, the next grade is choice.  Choice beef is damn good, and usually available in most butcher shops or higher-end grocery stores.  If you can't get prime or don't want to pay the premium, you should get a steak rated USDA Choice.  The next grade is select, which is what you'll usually find at cheap places like Walmart and the like.  I wouldn't recommend a steak graded select unless you're going to be marinading it for a while or using it for stew or carne asada or something.  Select is best for ground beef and the like.  There are five other grades, and they all suck.  Don't touch them.  They have appetizing names like "cutter" and "canner."

You also want fresh steak that has never been frozen, and has ideally been cut from the cow within the last day or two.  Talk to your butcher, he'll tell you.  If it was mooing this morning and getting et tonight, it's ideal, but not essential.  The important part is that it's not frozen.  Freezing steak causes the moisture to freeze, crystallize, and expand, tearing apart the muscle tissue.  As a result, it will force the liquid free so when it's thawed you'll get pooling of blood and water, and the meat itself will be dry.  You do not want this.

Cut is easy--get what you like.  The best steaks are usually rib eye or new york strip.  They have tender meat that's heavily marbled and will taste awesome.  Bone in or bone out, that's your choice.  Really.  However you roll.  Bone in will require it to cook slightly longer, is all.  Some people prefer bone in because the connective tissue between the muscle and the bone adds a lot of flavor.  But a good butcher will get a lot of that tissue in a boneless steak, and a steak usually won't cook long enough for the bone to have much effect beyond that.  I like boneless because there's nothing to slow down the rabid onslaught of my manfeasting.  Tenderloid steak is delicious and, as the name would imply, tender.  However, it has lower fat content and will require more care when cooking.  I really like tenderloin when I'm going to be making a rich sauce and want a smaller, less fatty bit of steak.  T-bone and porterhouse are best thought of as hybrids.  On a t-bone, for instance, the bigger half is a new york strip, and the smaller half is tenderloin.  The difference in fat content, and how that will effect the cooking, should be obvious.  Personally, I'm a rib eye guy, and this recipe is based on rib eye, but a new york strip can be cooked in exactly the same way.

Closely related to cut is fat. Fat content is important, because it adds juiciness and flavor.  What you want is a steak that's well "marbled" meaning streaks of bright white fat throughout.  You don't want huge chunks of fat, because they'll be too chewy.  On the other hand, too little fat will leave you with a dry, flavorless steak.  If the fat has a yellow tinge, avoid that steak.  It's probably not very fresh.

Finally, let's talk marinade.  With a good, fresh, fatty steak it's not necessary, and should generally be avoided.  You want to taste steak, not salad dressing and soy sauce and shit.  However, a lower quality steak can be made better (never as good, but better) with a marinade.  The marinade will add a bit of extra flavor and moisture.  Contrary to popular belief, marinade will NOT tenderize the meat.  Some things, like purpose made meat tenderizer and (my favorite) pineapple juice actually have enzymes that will tenderize meat a bit, but with a big steak the liquid just doesn't penetrate deep enough to effect the tenderness much.  Tenderizing really only comes into play with thin cuts of cheaper meat like flank steak.  Try to avoid heavily flavored marinades for a steak.  If a steak is a little cheaper or has been frozen, try marinading it on the counter in some good beer for about an hour.  That's all that's necessary.  If you're cooking a tough cut, like a flank steak, you'll need to get more creative, but that's another entry.

Here is my 20 oz. boneless rib eye after coating it with a tiny bit of olive oil and salt and pepper.  I forgot to take a picture of it without anything added--my bad.  Forgive the image quality--I just used my cellphone and the lighting wasn't great.  But it's a fine looking piece of meat.

inb4 that's what she said.

In fact, let's address that right now--throughout this recipe I will be making references to meat and may, at some point, use the phrase "warm pink center."  So absolutely no "that's what she said" jokes, unless they're uniquely funny.  Let's avoid the low hanging fruit, people.

Here's what you'll need for this recipe, per man-sized serving:

Steak; enough has been said about that.
Extra virgin olive oil
One medium russet potato
One small yellow potato
Some asparagus--about six spears
A quarter cup of sour cream
About a quarter cup of milk
Four tablespoons of real, unsalted butter (hell yeah)
Kosher salt and black pepper, like always.

Tools:
A heavy, cast iron skillet big enough for the steak.  I have a grill pan (has ridges in it, like a grill) that I love for this job, but a flat skillet will work.  Even a cast iron griddle would do a great job, if you're making several steaks.  Important part, it has to be cast iron.  It's the only thing in your kitchen that can handle the heat involved.
A medium sized saucepan for the potatoes (or bigger, if you're making more potatoes.  Duh).  I prefer stainless steel here.
A pan big enough to fit the asparagus with a lid.  Non-stick is perfect here.
Kitchen timer, preferably digital, or a watch with a timer
Tongs, for steak manipulation
Potato masher (there's really no way to do this without a heavy potato masher.  There are some--mostly old women who are all grandmothers--who can make great potatoes with just the back of a spoon.  But they're witches)
Wooden spoon, like with everything.

This recipe requires little prep but a lot of timing.  First, take your steak out of the fridge for at least 45 minutes before cooking--you want it to be room temperature before it hits the pan.  Now peel those potatoes and chop them into fairly even, big chunks.  The yellow potato chunks will be smaller, but that's ok.  They are less starchy and will stay firm when boiled.

Add the potatoes to the sauce pan with a good dose of your kosher salt, then cover the potatoes with water.  Place on the stove at medium high heat and let them slowly come to a boil.  You'll want to boil the potatoes for about 15 minutes, or until the russet (brown) potato falls apart when you skewer it with a fork.

After you put the potatoes on the heat, get your oven going.  Assuming you're using an electric oven, set the bottom rack all the way down and the top rack all the way up.  Place your cast iron skillet on the bottom rack and set the oven to 500 degrees.  That's right--half way to a thousand.  It will take a while, so be patient.  At this point you probably want to open the kitchen windows or something, cause shit's gonna smoke.

Finally, take the asparagus, rinse it in cool water, and cut about an inch off the lower ends.  Put the asparagus in the other pan with a quarter cup of water and some salt.  Cover and put on a medium-low burner.  You'll want to gently cook the asparagus, without lifting the lid, for about 10-15 minutes, or until tender enough to easily pick up on a fork.

When your oven is hot, let the magic begin.  I hope you're ready, because you're about to engage in a dance throughout your kitchen, culminating in smoke, char, and awesome.  Remove the cast iron skill from the oven CAREFULLY (it's really, really hot and so is the handle--just don't touch it.  In fact, do not touch that skillet with bare skin until you're done with dinner and cleaning up.  It is off limits throughout the rest of the cooking process) and place it on a burner on high.  Switch the oven from bake to broil, and turn the temperature all the way up (marked either broil or 600.  Don't put it on clean, obviously).  Now go to your steak, pad each side with a paper towel to dry it a bit, and coat both sides lightly with olive oil.  Sprinkle the top liberally with kosher salt and ground black pepper.

Once the skillet has been on the high burner for about a minute to a minute and a half, and is maybe even smoking a little bit, toss that steak on there, side that you have salted and peppered down.  Add some salt and pepper to the naked side that's up while it sears.  Let it simmer and pop and smoke for thirty seconds, then flip it over with the tongs.  Don't stab the steak until you're eating it, and don't use a spatula unless it's metal.  At these temperature plastic will melt onto the cookware and steak.  See that searing?  Nice, right?  After thirty more seconds, move the skillet with the steak back to the oven and place it on the top rack, very near the broiler heating element.  It will be close--probable only an inch or so away.  Close the oven and let the steak broil for about 2 1/2 minutes for a thick steak for medium rare.  Thinner steaks should cook less, and cook more if you want it more well done.  Think of it in thirty second increments--two minutes for a rare, thick steak, three minutes for medium, and so forth.  After that time is up, very, very carefully slide the rack with the skillet out and flip the steak one more time and broil it for the same amount of time as before.  While that's happening, grab a big piece of aluminum foil; big enough to cover the steak fully.

After the time is up, very carefully remove the skillet with the steak from the oven.  Remove the steak and place it on the aluminum foil, and top it with about two tablespoons of butter.  Cover it with the foil loosely and let it rest for about 5 minutes.

While the steak is resting, drain the water from the potatoes.  Put them back in the pan for just a second to let them dry, and mash away.  Don't mash too much here, or they'll get gummy--you just want to break up the big chunks.  Add the sour cream and just a little bit of milk, along with some salt, to the potatoes and whip (stir vigorously) with a wooden spoon.  If the potatoes are still too stiff, add a bit more milk.  Cover the potato pan and leave it on heat that's just warm.

Now for the serving:  Melt the other two tablespoons of butter in a microwave safe dish for about 20 seconds on high.  Remove the asparagus from the pan, set it briefly on a paper towel, and then place on the plate.  Sprinkle with salt and pour a bit of that butter on there.  Plate the potatoes and steak as well, and top the potatoes with the rest of the butter.  That's right, every damn part of this meal has butter.  It's awesome.

You'll want to serve this with a salad with a hearty dressing, like red wine or balsamic vinaigrette, or even a Caesar salad for the adventurous, and good red wine.  Cabernet is the standard, but it's less accessible.  If you know a cab you like, then drink that.  Otherwise a shiraz or Bordeaux would be delicious and more drinkable to non-wine drinkers.

Enjoy your steakhouse quality steak for less money, without a grill, and without a fancy marinade.  This recipe is so simple that you'll find yourself checking for deals on steak every time you're at the butcher.  I probably make this recipe once a week.

Now that's a fine looking piece of meat, and I got a warm, pink center.

That's what she said.

On wine, cream, and capers

As hard as it is, I'm not going to make a pun on the word "capers." Shenanigans. Ok, but that was it.

This entry is the one that inspired me to create this blog. You see, when a couple of buddies were coming by and I felt like cooking, I created a recipe more or less from scratch. Granted, it was inspired by existing recipes, but the final product was my own. The result was far from perfect, but it was tasty. My friends wanted the recipe for even that preliminary version. Since then the recipe has been refined and improved to the product you see before you.

On Wine

It only makes since, really, that my first real entry would be about wine. And not because I'm a drunk--I mean, I like a good drink. Not gonna lie. But because wine is one of those mysterious elements of cooking and, especially, completing a meal that baffles many people. I find it hard to believe at this point, but there are many people that are actually afraid of cooking with wine and haven't the foggiest idea about pairing besides white with chicken, red with beef. But a little reason will illuminate this mystery and give any nerd a passing knowledge that will, at least, help them to fake it. More importantly, it will provide a baseline upon which the inquiring mind can build a real knowledge.

Let's start with pairing, mostly because this entry will be short. It will not be short because it's simple--there are people who make their livelihoods on pairing wine with food. It will be short because I've got a few tips for acquiring your own knowledge.

There are literally thousands of websites devoted to wine and pairing. If in doubt, google. A search string like "wine with XXXX" (where XXXX is the food, obviously), will return myriad suggestions. People have been doing this ever since they figured out that getting drunk is better when you go about it the right way, so you'll have no shortage of sources. When it comes down to it, anyone with a smart phone can find the right wine on the spot.

The other thing I'll say about wine is this: More expensive is not necessarily better. Be willing to try some experiments and find what you like. A great resource is a place like Total Wine or BevMo. These places are my holy land, lands of milk and honey. All made by drunken cows and bees. You'll see countless varieties that you've never heard of, and most of the time you'll even save money over the grocery store. Even better, they often include suggestions and detailed descriptions. At first, many of the words will seem like nonsense. But invest a little time and have maybe a bottle or two a week, and you'll start to learn.

I'll also usually suggest things in the recipes, but you are encouraged to call me an idiot and make your own decisions.

Next, cooking. Cooking with wine is the easiest thing in the world, as long as you remember a few crucial things: Never use cooking wine, it's all about when it's added, and use the right wine for the right food. The third is pretty much pairing, with some exceptions. Some wines (like Marsala) are great for cooking, but you probably won't want to drink them straight. Others are great with a food, but won't be great IN the food. I'll try to point those out in the recipes.

Next, never use cooking wine. Let me say that again: NEVER USE COOKING WINE. So called "cooking wine" is not intended for drinking, just cooking. It's cheap, and there's a reason. It's almost universally sub-par wine that the makers figure will pass when surrounded by other flavors. It won't. Think of it this way: If you're painting a masterpiece, the white bits should not be off-white. Or cream. Or, god help you, ecru. In the same way, sub-par wine will tend to impart sub-par flavor. It's likely to result in a funny aftertaste or a strange interaction with other ingredients. More importantly, so it can be sold with regular ingredients rather than requiring proof of age like proper wine, cooking wine is rendered undrinkable with a SHITLOAD of salt. It will throw off the salt content of your food, which is absolutely vital in itself. It's also another entry yet to come.

Finally, the point at which you add wine is crucial. You'll learn a bit of this following recipes, but the science is important to know. Almost always you'll add wine to food in a critical step that fancy Frenchmen call "deglazing." Deglazing is, simply put, when you pour wine onto a hot cooking surface before other liquid ingredients are added. This accomplishes three important things.

The first is that it allows you to impart the flavor of the wine without all of the effects of alcohol on how the food cooks. Firstly, alcohol has a much lower boiling point than water (or primarily water ingredients) and will cause the food to cook at a lower temperature. Secondly, the alcohol itself is generally not what you want--it's all the bonus flavors. It's a myth that food cooked with alcohol such as wine will "cook off" all the sweet, sweet booze. But it's also a myth that all of the alcohol will remain. You'll never get drunk on a white wine sauce, but if you are absolutely opposed to consuming alcohol you're better off using something else. Adding the wine to deglaze the pan will flash boil a lot of the alcohol off without over or under cooking everything, and will leave the flavor you want.

Secondly, that flash boil business will quickly cool the cooking surface (by causing a rapid phase change to absorb energy, for the sciency). If you're moving from frying or sauteing ingredients and adding liquid, as you often will with a sauce, you don't want the sauce pan to be too hot or the liquid will cook unevenly and burn in parts.

Finally, deglazing with wine, by rapidly cooling the cooking surface, causes the metal to contract rapidly. This causes the bits that are stuck to the pan to release and become part of your sauce. Those bits, far from being burned dross (unless you've overcooked) are transformed into a cornucopia of flavors as a result of the Maillard reaction, a collection of chemical reactions (often mistakenly called caramelizing, which only happens with sugar) that vastly increase the complexity of flavor.

Learning to properly use wine with cooking, along with learning to pick the right wine for the food, is your first step on the way to being a faux gourmet. That's French.

Chicken and farfalle in a white wine cream sauce with spinach and capers

Now for the money shot. The recipe. And it will delight. Serve this with a spinach salad with a light, sweet vinaigrette. Raspberry vinaigrette is perfect.

For a good dinner for two, you'll need:

1. One very large chicken breast, about 0.5 lbs. (Two smaller ones will do)
2. Half a pound of Farfalle (bow tie) pasta
3. Half a cup of heavy cream (That's right, heavy cream)
4. Two tablespoons of butter (REAL butter, unsalted)
5. Extra virgin olive oil. This is the one place where I will tell you, without reservation, that imported is better. Olive oil in Italy is subject to stringent standards, and extra virgin olive oil is the best oil from the first pressing of the olives. The same standards are not applied in the U.S. So extra virgin olive oil from the U.S. might be the same stuff, but it might not. Why take chances? Buy Italian olive oil.
5. About a cup of dry white wine. I've been all about Tuscan whites lately. The last time I made this recipe I used Villa Antinori 2006, about $10. A Sauvignon Blanc or Chenin Blanc would be good as well, and available at any grocery store. Avoid Chardonnay--It's technically "dry," but I find most too fruity.
6. A small to medium shallot (Not an onion. Anyone that tells you onion and extra garlic will work is a god damned liar. Shallots are widely available now and not much more than onion)
7. One or two cloves of garlic, depending on how you roll. Avoid pre-chopped or bottled garlic. It's usually pickled or soaked in oil, and doesn't have the right flavor.
8. Two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. Fresh grated is best, and good quality pre-grated Parmigiano-Reggiano is also good. The artificially preserved crap in a green can will work, but only as a last resort.
9. A few capers; about a tablespoon. I prefer the ones packed in sea salt, but it's your call. Capers are a funny little creature--the right amount of these salty little bastards add a wonderful, unique flavor and enhance the other flavors. Too many make the dish taste like old fruit and ass.
10. Spinach. Frozen, you want about a cup, run under hot tap water until thawed. Fresh chopped you want about a cup and a half to two cups, rinsed and dipped in boiling water for no more than 30 seconds (this is called blanching)
11. As with most food, kosher salt and fresh ground black pepper, to make things magical.

Instruments:
A decent sized pot suitable for pasta
A large, deep sauce pan or saute pan. Generally, if it comes with a lid it's suitable. Stainless steel is best, and non-stick will work fine.
A small frying pan, non-stick is perfect here.
Spoons or spatulas. I like bamboo or wood. Avoid plastic that will melt and metal that will scrape up your cookware something awful.

Once you have your ingredients assembled, begin your prep work.

Put a pot of water on to boil, and make sure you add a good pinch of kosher salt. This will add a bit of flavor to the pasta as it cooks, and cause the water to boil at a higher temperature, resulting in better cooking. When it's boiling like mad, add the pasta and stir it immediately, but leave the heat up. Stir it a couple times as you go. If it begins to boil over lift it off of the heat for a moment and allow it to simmer down. You'll want to cook it for about 8 minutes at sea level (a bit longer at higher elevations). It will not be quite done at this point--you want it to finish cooking in the sauce to absorb the flavor and thicken the sauce with the starch. That's called multitasking, and an iPhone can't do it.

Cook the chicken any way you like to cook chicken. You could fry it in a bit of olive oil (if you take this route use the same pan in which you intend to make the sauce). I like to rub the chicken with a tiny bit of olive oil and sprinkle it with kosher salt and black pepper and grill it. Either way, cook it until the outside is browned but the inside is not quite done, and place it on a dish or cutting board for now. This will also finish cooking in the sauce.

Finely dice the shallot. Use the same technique as you would for an onion--cut off the ends and remove the papery bit, cut it in half, and dice it like an onion. This makes me think I'll need an entry on knife techniques--they're important. For now just try your best to cut the shallot into about 1/8 inch bits.

Chop the garlic. Pro tip (learned from an Italian girl, no less): lay the garlic clove, paper in all, on a counter top. Place the flat of a good chef's knife on the clove, and give the top (other flat of the knife) a good whack. The clove will be slightly crushed, and the paper will peel right off really easily. Now chop it finely.

Put your big pan on the burner on medium, add a tablespoon of olive oil, and a tablespoon of butter. While the pan is heating move it around so it's coated evenly. When the butter has just stopped foaming (but before it starts to turn brown) add the shallots and garlic, and a little pinch of salt. Saute until the shallots are starting to turn a bit translucent, but don't let the garlic start to brown.

While this is all going on, put the small skillet on another burner on medium-low heat and add the other tablespoon of butter. Make sure not to let the butter burn.

Once the shallots and garlic are good to go, pour in the cup of the wine on the hot pan (deglazing, remember?). The wine should immediately boil. Stir well, making sure to scrape up the brown bits of awesome that stubbornly stick to the pan. Reduce the heat to low and let some of the alcohol cook off. Do not stick your head over the pan and inhale the fumes. They are largely vaporized ethanol. This is not as pleasant as it sounds.

After about two minutes, add the cream and stir. If it boils too quickly, lift the pan off of the heat for a moment and reduce the heat a bit. You don't want cream to burn--you want it to be lightly simmering. Stir frequently while it cooks down. It should lose about a quarter of its volume.

While this is going on, toss the spinach into the little skillet with the butter and spread it out. Let the spinach fry in the butter until it just starts to brown on the edges, then remove it from the heat. Also, take that chicken breast and cut it up to your liking. Either 1/2 inch strips, or cubes of about 1 inch.

Once the sauce has cooked down a bit throw the chicken and pasta in. Stir well and let them cook together for about four minutes. If the sauce gets too thick add just a little bit--just of few tablespoons--of chicken stock (ideal) or water (it will work).

Once the chicken and pasta are looking good in that sexy cream sauce, add the capers, spinach, and a pinch of salt. Stir, then taste the sauce. Need more salt? Add a bit more salt. Remember, there's still Parmesan, which is salty, so don't go nuts.

Remove from heat and add the cheese, then stir until everything is mixed well and you don't have chunks of Parmesan.

While all this sounds complicated, you can actually make this whole recipe in about a half hour, maybe a little more if you want to be particular. I included a lot of detail so there are no surprises. For best results read this recipe and make it without reference to the source. It's OK if you check the ingredients list during prep, preferably on a smart phone or similar gadget. If you're making it for a date I recommend a dry run, maybe for a friend or a roommate. Finally, the best part, eating...

1. Put on dishes and top with freshly ground black pepper
2. Drink the same wine as you used for the sauce
3. ???
4. Profit!

Description

You may ask, "why the hell am I reading this blog? I'm not a nerd!" Or maybe you suspect that you are, and are, as yet, unwilling to admit it. But ultimately, a blog that is about cooking for nerds requires a description of what that means, at least to me.

Many things have been written, and many words said, disparaging the "nerd." As with many things, the contempt lies not in truth, but in words. The term "nerd," once a epithet laid at the feet of the pocket-protectored, Commodore 64 programming high pants wearers that sought to hide from social interaction, has become a badge of honor. Nerds invented the internet. Not Al Gore. Though he is a nerd. Nerds created the computer you're now using. Nerds are the reason that your TV is pretty, and the reason that you have video games. Nerds created microwaves, iPods, and even the electric motor that coaxes your blender into turning a handful of ingredients into a margarita. And anyone that helps make margaritas is not all bad.

That being said, I propose a new definition for "nerd." A nerd is a person that seeks to understand the world through reason and inquiry, and then applies that understanding to everyday life. A nerd is a person that sees a problem and says, "hey, science can fix that." Mostly, a nerd is a person who lives a glorious life of the mind, their thoughts enriching the mundane details around them, until every problem is an opportunity for invention, every failing is a chance for improvement, and every task is one that can be accomplished with a little knowledge and a little reason.

So Natural 20 is a blog for those people. As a nerd, I learned to cook through experimentation, analysis, and science. I've had many failures, and so will you, but I strive to help you avoid some of them, and to take the ones you do experience as a chance to improve. So here is how this little corner of the internet will work: Each time I post, I will include two sections. The first will be some brief words about the science, technique, or gadgets of cooking. Let's be honest--nerds love gadgets. The second part of each post will be a recipe. These will be recipes that I have tried myself, and have subjected my friends to, as well.

I am writing for people like myself who want to learn rather than merely copy. Thus, my recipes will include very detailed descriptions of techniques and ingredients, and why things are as they are. I hope that we can share what we know and all be better cooks for it.

Also, nerds like girls, and girls like dudes that can cook. It stands to reason, really.